How To Buy a Plane Ticket In Nigeria (by an expatriate)

How To Buy An Aeroplane Ticket In Nigeria
1. Visit website of desired airline.
2. Select flight, date, etc.
3. Proceed to payment page.
4. Observe large red warning notice to the effect that, thanks to your country of origin being infested with dickheads who would defraud their unborn children, paying online is not an option.
5. Choose a good book.
6. Walk up one flight of steps to the airline office, which just so happens to be situated above yours.
7. Hold your nose and try to avoid retching too loudly. Wonder aloud why some people cannot wash.
8. Have an inane conversation with a brain-dead security guard who is playing receptionist for the day.
9. Write your name on a piece of paper and collect a ticket.
10. Sit in the pre-waiting area, which is where people wait before being admitted to the waiting area. Get your nose in the book. Read 10 pages.
11. Wait until the security guard calls you into the waiting area proper.
12. Take a seat and get your nose back in the book. Read 10-20 pages.
13. When sign displays your number, go to appropriate desk.



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